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Duet for Candy and Flute


Duet for Candy and Flute

Today in a conference about Taxonomy and variety of species in Uni someone next to me drew out a candy. There were all sorts of graphs in the powerpoint exhibition, some I understood better and others less. With the permission of my esteemed colleagues I would like to suggest one more graph. Axis A: the degree of caution executed in opening the candy. Axis B: the degree of noise the opening of the candy produces. Please notice that the slope of the graph is steady and positive; the greater the caution, the stronger the noise. One can add an Axis C that will represent the event in which the candy is drawn. The apex of the graph (maximum caution, maximum noise) would usually occur inside concert halls during quiet and slow solo parts performed by flute or a soprano singer. The classical music admirer will take the candy out of his bag. He will quietly and very noisily unwrap the candy’s right wrapping. He will quietly and very noisily unwrap the candy’s left wrapping. He will grab the cover at its center and while shrinking his face in torment equal only to Young Werther’s, he will peal off the cover in a tempo of the slowest known to the music world, something between Lente and Larghissimo. At this stage it will be clear to the entire auditorium and to the flute player on stage that an upsetting mistake appears in the ancient notes facsimile and originally the composer wrote the solo as a duet for flute and candy.

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