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Prospective Gluttony Disorder

08/03/2013

Prospective Gluttony Disorder

Prospective Gluttony Disorder is a disorder in which a person gets immersed in severe gluttony that is projected in his thought towards food leftovers that are prospected to remain from the Passover dinner. The disorder, which affects all life realms, develops following a defining and shaking experience of gorging on Gefilte Fish, potato pie and various other Eastern European dishes in plastic boxes straight from the fridge on the morning following the Passover dinner, sometime during early childhood. In order to diagnose a person as a PGD patient at least 2 of the following 5 symptoms have to exist: 1. The person clears a day during the holiday of all activity in advance in order to focus on eating the leftovers. 2. As the dinner approaches the person develops antisocial tendencies so as not to be expected to share the leftovers with others. 3. On the morning of the Passover dinner the antisocial tendency changes to the opposite extreme for a set duration of time during which the person gives away all of his food to homeless people in order to clear the fridge. 4. On the week preceding the dinner the person suffers repeating nightmares that describe a holiday dinner of which only a single microscopic Kneidel is left. 5. Three days before the dinner the person erects a Kneidel pyramid in one of the corners of his room and prays in front of it day and night in order to appease “evil kneidel forces” and recruit against them “good kneidel forces”.

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From → Folklore

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