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Fictitious Pockets

08/03/2013

Fictitious Pockets

I would say that fictitious pockets are a phenomenon you must uproot if the problem with fictitious pockets weren’t the actual absence of a root. Exceptionally aggravating was one evening when I went out with my best outfit – a pair of blue tailored trousers and a beige tailored jacket with a gentle and beloved lining – and discovered too late that both of them are inflicted with that same fashionable madness. One thing that must be clarified and asserted is that fictitious pockets does not equal absence of pockets. When there’s no pockets there’s no pockets and no one complains about that. Fictitious pockets, on the other hand, arouse in the person who wears them a pocket illusion that feeds on the primordial rummaging reflex and completely disrupts it. All that evening my hands wandered up and down like the elevator of a boutique hotel on the day of the visit of an honorable lord and his entourage. My brain became as confused and tired as the brain of a lab rat with Alzheimer’s disease who had gotten trapped in a maze with fictitious doors. Needless to say I couldn’t compensate myself for the agony by putting cookies in my pockets in order to munch before bedtime. Exhausted and depressed I eventually went home and removed the bastards from my body, swearing they will never again join forces against me as one suit.

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From → Cloth Kingdom

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