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An Acute and Rare Syndrome

08/03/2013

An Acute and Rare Syndrome

On Wednesday the 23rd at 10am I entered a two hours beginners’ yoga class. I did it in order to improve my quality of life and also because I’m tired of asking the elderly people who talk to me in bars to use their walker to lean on during the conversation because the stool has no back rest. The class wasn’t easy, wasn’t simple and hurt quite a bit but I passed it and felt a certain satisfaction. In the evening I felt a contraction of my limbs and realized it had to do with the yoga class. This morning I got up with a stronger sense of contraction and when I looked in the mirror it seemed as if my limbs had shrunk in two centimeters. This evening the contraction has worsened and when I checked myself with a tape measure I found out to my great horror that my entire body had shortened since the class in a total of 8.5 centimeters. In the current state of matters it is perfectly clear that I will not make it to New Year’s Eve. The rare and acute syndrome I’m presenting will shrink and shorten my body to such extent that eventually I’ll collapse into singularity. The singularity, experts say, will be geographically positioned either in the third eye or in the solar plexus or in the point that their mutual collapse into one another will create. I’m trying to concentrate on the present, breath deep and accept everything that comes with love. Before I disappear there’s a few things I need to say. First, I would like to tell our Swami that I’m not angry. Anger is a negative and destructive emotion. One must purify the soul and clear space for positive emotions. Especially if the soul is shrinking exponentially. The second thing I need to say is that it was nice over here. Especially nice was the book “Madiken” by Astrid Lindgren. And chicken soup with noodles was also very nice. And strawberry cream filled chocolate was nice. And the smell of freshly mown grass was nice as well. Positive emotions. Think positive. Positive thinking. Some things, of course, weren’t so nice. There was this yoga class I went to two days ago and to this very day I’m short of words to describe its shortcomings. And there were positive emotions that run around all the time with a salesman’s greasy smile and get pushed in wherever they’re not invited. But we’re letting go, and we’re breathing deeply, and we’re clearing space for the good and the abundance that the universe summons to us. Only if it can hurry up a little bit it wouldn’t hurt, please. 

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From → Mind Body

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